I didn't know my last blog about the Perfume War would cause such a stink, an uproar, a tumultuous disturbance of the public peace. When I posted it, I wasn't aware of the magnitude of emotion that I had. I just wrote it because the pain of my daughter's experience at work was fresh in my mind.
The outpouring of comments on Facebook had me walking around in circles, I mean, I had never incited a riot before. It's heady stuff! I had never garnered such attention before.
At first my replies to comments were still full of indignation, I mean really, can't anybody wear perfume anymore, without it offending some co-worker, or attendee of a bible study?
The generous comments were mostly from those who have reactions to perfumes, hair spray, and lotions. Skull splitting headaches, gut wrenching nausea, 10 times the magnitude of morning sickness. And brain fog, let's not forget about the brain fog.
One comment was about a foreign high school student who did not employ the use of perfume, or deodorant either. The entire school was assaulted by this students B.O. (body odor) and it was left to the guidance counselor to guide the offending student to the use of regular bathing habits, and deodorant. Of course that conversation had me imagining that poor little foreign student at a table in the cafeteria, sitting all alone, and the rest of the assembly had the scowl of the P U on their faces. Not a pretty picture, but I imagined it never the less.
One comment in particular helped me become aware of what this topic was stirring up in me. I choose to look inward and ask myself, is there something deeper here? Is this more than just righteous indignation? I mean, just the power of sharing my opinion, with anybody and everybody here in cyberspace is a huge thing for me, and when I stayed up till 3 a.m. just so I could publish the post before I went to bed should have told me something else was going on. I don't think I've ever gone to bed with a chuckle about what I had written, but my little comment about the 'stink to high heaven scale' had me chuckling to my pillow.
While writing my reply to my commenter, it hit me....It was easier to write about my stink scale than it was to feel the hurt I'd felt from my fathers disgust of me AND what I hadn't talked about at all was the reason I wear perfume that way that I do. Because I've believed that I really do smell, and therefore am a stinkin, worthless human being. Who would have thought?!
After crying the tears that real healing, a true catharsis can bring, I feel so thankful. For the courage I had to look at myself. For the friend who brought it to my attention that there was something else going on. For the friend who stayed with the sparring of words long enough to realize I didn't really like disturbing the peace.
Benjamin Franklin is quoted as saying, "There are three things that are extremely hard: steel, diamonds, and to know thyself."
3 comments:
I can finally comment, and all my words have gone to bed without me!
That is so awesome! At lunch the other day as we laughed and talked about your post, it occured to me how much wisdom was sitting across from me. You have reached a point where your soul is talking and you are listening! Keep it coming Jane. I learn from you every day
Wow, you guys are the best, Jean and Katren, your comments are helping me to carry on. Please continue to leave comments or questions, as it helps me to remember. It is difficult to add every little detail, or know when to add.
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