The next level II

I'm going to have to quit drinking so much coffee because when everyone else in the house is fast asleep, I'm not. And I think it's from the caffeine in my morning cups of coffee.  Last year I had weaned myself off the stuff, and then Michael and I went to Panama.

Panama has the BEST coffee. We even toured a coffee plantation and I was amazed with that small little bean. I even learned that the first coffee plant was smuggled out of Arabia, and eventually ended up in Panama and other far flung places. It's funny, too, that the floaters, the coffee beans that float when they are washed, are not so good, and these beans are sold to the mega coffee makers, like Folgers and Maxwell House!

But, I digress. I want to talk about my Zuma game and how it has helped me get to the next level. Playing Zuma for me is a way to let my mind wander and wonder about trivial things. I may have described this game to you before, but I'm gonna tell you about it again, just in case. I am in no way promoting the sale of this game by the way, just letting you know why I play it.

I shoot colored balls out of the mouth of this funky looking frog. The graphics are colorful and humorous and the balls are different colors, and while one ball is in the mouth of the little froggy another one is in his hind end, so I can see both balls and determine which one I want to shoot because I'm shooting at other colored balls.  If I see two balls of the same color and I have one of those colors in my frog, then I shoot and they disappear. Of course I get points for this, but best of all, if I beat the clock, I get another life.

When I first started playing this game, I would sit here for a very long time trying to figure out what to do. The first level wasn't too hard, and the second level wasn't hard either. But when I'd get to the third level I just couldn't seem to beat it. grrrrrrr  I hate when I get beat by a stupid game, especialy after I watched Grandma's boy. In that movie these really nerdy guys sat around and created games like Zuma. 

The only way to beat the game was to get serious about winning.  At the end of the level that kept whipping me was this monster like face that would eat my frog, and I hated when that happened. I wanted to kick that monster to kingdom come.

When my daughter told me I was addicted to the game, I had to agree with her! I was caffeinated, I'm sure.  But I wanted to explore why I just had to play this game whenever I could, so I began to listen to my inner dialogue while playing, just to see what the heck was so appealing to me. 

I heard things like, "I'm going faster now"
"I'm playing better"
"I'm learning what to do next"
"I like being a winner"
"I can't win them all"
"Stay calm" 
"Shoot straight"
"I love feeling successful"
"I love it when it plays out like that" 
"I love this game"
"I hate this game"
"Wonder why they all can't happen like that"
"Sometimes I have to stop and take a break"

It's amazing that after I heard what kind of things I was telling myself while playing this silly game, I realized it paralells what is happening with my art work. Those who are in my art circles know that I have been learning how to get to the next level, and by God, it's working! I'm in the Gallery, I'm in an art show, and I'm continuing to draw and teach drawing classes. Wow! This time last year I was on medication and coming out of a year long bout of depression.

I have finally beat the Zuma game. The first time was incredible, I was so proud of myself! Imagine me sitting at my computer monitor at 1:30 a.m. chuckling to myself, "I won, I won!"  The next game I played I won again, and each game since then I've aced. 

I think it's good for me to play Zuma, especially when I see how it relates to the other good things in my life right now.  Hey, we all know I've had some bad patches in my life, and who really knows what the future holds? I can hope and I can pray, but living in the moment and enjoying a game feels fun and feeling fun helps me to feel young.

Giving myself positive affirmations is also therapeutic. It's been a struggle at different times in my life to say them and really believe them. I used to put post-it notes all over the mirror in my bathroom, to remind myself that I am worthy, that I am lovable. It seems like all these years later I've found a way to use these self-esteem tools, they haven't rusted at all, and it's my guess that it's all gonna help me reach the next level.   Zuma!