An Artist's Life

Today was a good day, I was able to finish a challenging portrait; a graphite, colored pencil and charcoal portrait of a kitty cat. Challenging because I've never drawn a cat before, and I mixed the pencils, it's hard to mix colored pencils with graphite because the colored pencils are waxy, and it's hard to put one over the other without a problem.


Wouldn't you think the life of a pencil artist would be a dream job? A piece of paper, a pencil and an eraser. Yeah, that's it in a nutshell, however, the pencils always seem to need to be sharpened. At least I like them sharp. A rounded pencil can give me a nice smooth roll over the paper, when I need to fill in a lot of negative space. 


But usually, I like em sharp. And last night, I wanted to finish this piece after everyone went to bed.  Then, WHAM...the electric pencil sharpener got jammed, and every pencil I tried to sharpen just came out blunt. 


I turned it over, took out the 3 screws holding the thing together, and jiggled and jostled the sharpener against the counter a few times. Hubby shut the bedroom door rather sharply about that time, and I thought, "How am I gonna finish this if I don't have a sharpened pencil?  


I took the sharpener into the bathroom and shut the door and tried it again. No luck....Tried it again, and I think I've got it. I put it all together again, and stuck a pencil in.The sharpener vibrated so loudly that the windows shook, you'd think the space shuttle was landing, only it wasn't.


Aw, man.....I had to give up and I went to bed rather perturbed, I'd just have to fix the sharpener in the morning, which I did, and it worked like a charm. Who would have figured that the jinx of the pencil sharpener would wear off over night? 


Today I went and picked up my portrait of Annabelle at the King Center. Those of you who have been following my blogs know that I entered my first juried show in November, and they picked the "Earrink", the portrait of Annabelle.  


I was ecstatic that it was chosen, and the day of the awards was a little more than interesting for me, it was anxiety provoking. On one hand I thought it would be wonderful to win the $1000 award, and I imagined myself standing up in front of a whole bunch of people, saying 'Thank you, thank you". 


Then right after that thought came the thought that said, 'Naw, you ain't gonna win, it's a picture of a little girl, with an earring as big as her head.' So, back and forth and back and forth came the thoughts. From one extreme to the other. A winner and a loser. 


I had to really work with my internal dialog and tell myself it didn't matter. It didn't matter if I won or if I didn't win. Winning didn't make me a winner, I make me a winner. If I didn't win I wasn't a loser, I was an artist in a juried show, and I didn't get the award. I also make me a loser, if I'm aware of it.


The awards were kinda peculiar, insofar as the judge was concerned. I mean he had credentials that were equivalent to an American Express Gold Card. He had been to all THE art schools, and had won every award there is...but, the little guy was OLD. 


At first I thought that would work to my advantage, as my graphite portrait had all the elements of a traditional piece. No modern or contemporary abstract portrait. Just a plain old pencil drawing, with a little color for a pop.


But when he was asked up to the podium, he took a good long time getting there, and he was just 3 tables away. I didn't think much about it, as older folks need to watch where they are going, so they don't fall down. 


He was introduced, and then the man in charge was ready to carry on with the program, only the judge didn't get it. He was ready to announce the winner. The man in charge had to ask the judge 3 times to go sit down, finally telling him he was crowding the stage. The judge understood that, and went and sat down.


Then came the time to announce the 1st place winner, the winner of $1000. The judge was asked back up front, and he announced the winner. 


No sooner had the winner said her 'thanks' when the judge announced to the runner up, an award winner by the Art show board, and to the rest of us, that he didn't pick her piece for 1st place, because in his estimation, it had a flaw in it!


I was flabbergasted! It seemed rude and out of place to critique a work after the award was awarded....so, I was glad I did my self awareness preparation before the show because, had I been the runner up, I would have been picking myself up off the floor, or have wanted to elbow the old guy in the Adams apple, for his inappropriate comments.


What a whirlwind...juried art show, juried art gallery acceptance. Cocoa Beach Art Festival...did I mention I went to that? I'm a gonna tell you, there are some talented people in that show. My head got so full of beautiful art, I felt a little dizzy from time to time.  


I went to the show with my friend Jim. Jimmie comes to Florida every year from upstate New York. We met years ago when I was doing the horse workshops, and Jimmie and I have stayed in touch ever since.


While we were walking the show, I saw the artist who I had signed up for his upcoming workshop, and I told Jim. "Oh, look, there's ....., let's go say "Hi". We walked into the booth or tent or hut, whatever you call those things that every artist has to have, to even get into the Art Festival. 


So, I'm chit chatting for a minute or two, and the chit chat is hard because I'm not being chit chatted back to...and then it occurs to me to introduce my friend Jim. And there is no response. No grunt, no hey, no nod.  Nothing.  I mean nothing.  


Well, talk about a pregnant pause. Or more like, "I gotta get the H out of here, before I say something I'll regret"....I mean, it's not like I haven't met that artist before. In fact, he owed me a little kindness, I handed out over 400 of his postcards, advertising one of his recent shows... and he can't even say "Hey" to my friend.


Man, by the time I got home I was fuming! I just couldn't think of one good reason why someone would be so rude. I had to process the whole thing with my daughter, because, if I accepted this rude behavior, and still went to his workshop, I mean, what could I expect? and the workshop wasn't cheap either. Who does this guy think he is?  


It reminded me of a horse trainer I worked with years ago. This guy co-wrote a book, was on TV, flew around the country giving seminars. Had all the girls swooning over him, myself included. But, the guy was a #1 Ass.  Not second rate, or even third rate, a bona fide, first rate Ass.


So, I like to think I'm learning my lessons as life hands them to me, and I withdrew from the artist workshop...and I've got to tell you...it felt good and bad.  I had sooooo wanted to go to that workshop, and I had told all my friends that I was going.


But to think that I would go and be treated badly, or not, he had treated my friend rudely, I would have been doubly mad. People tell you who they are by the way they behave. Why should I expect someone to behave differently just for me?  That has been a problem for me in the past.  I hope I have finally figured it out.


Well, that's just the beginning of catching you up on an artist's life. Reminds me of a "Bugs life", only I don't have the antennae! I've got some more stuff to talk about, only it's gettin late, and I've got a portrait to finish. Stay tuned for more...

All about the Art

Art Art Bo Bart Banana Fana Fo Fart Me My Mo Mart, Art.  Remember that little ditty?  (It's as funny to write as it is to say). I cannot believe it's been a month since my last post. What happened?  It's all Art's fault.  


I entered a juried art show, first time ever, (I've got more to say about that later) and I was accepted as a member of an art gallery, the Art Gallery of Viera.  Seems like not such a big deal, but it is, to me. One day I'm just sittin' around and writing on my blog and going to art salon meetings every two weeks, and the next thing I know I'm so busy I'm runnin' around with my hair on fire. (Feels like it anyway) 


Oh, and I forgot to mention the little game I downloaded, Zuma. I don't know why I got that game, it's not like I don't have anything else to do but sit here and shoot at these little balls. Red, green, blue, purple...and when I get to the higher levels, which isn't that often, white balls start rolling around. It seems like shooting at these things helps me organize, in the back of my mind, all the other stuff.  Does this happen to anybody else? 


I have my drawings that I'm working on. Three commissions, and one Christmas present. I love drawing, don't get me wrong, it's just that I can only sit and draw for so long and then I have to get up and do something else. I love looking at all the nuances of a nose or lips or eyes, the shapes that make up a face or hair. It's all good stuff. After awhile though my hands just get tired, especially if I'm covering alot of space with the darker shades. I draw on the back porch, or if it's really chilly, I'll sit in the kitchen at the counter because I don't have an official studio.


Then I get the big idea I need to make stuff for Christmas, some for the gallery and some for family and friends. I've got out my felt, and made a couple of ornaments. (One has already sold at the gallery, I'll be able to take that trip to Rio now!) And I got out my sculpey and tried making some ornaments,but they aren't that good. Sometimes I think I've lost the knack for sculpture, I don't know for sure, but I'll keep trying.  


Seems like I do this every Christmas, I get all these ideas and try and hurry to make everything in time. Now that I go to the Gallery and work my 4 shifts a month, it seems like I don't have enough time.  But I do have enough time, I just need to slow down and tell myself it's enough. I mean who's in control here anyway? I've had this niggling thought that I need, I mean HAVE TO make stuff.  


Through the years I've always had some project to work on. Last year I started a tapestry, a cute little puppy. I won't be making another one of those, it about killed me to finish it.  I wonder what it is about taking on a new project, what is it really about. Is it just my nature to challenge myself with something new? What happens when the new thing isn't all it's cracked up to be?  Do projects help me deal with life in some way?  All questions I've been asking myself, ever since I became an official artist.  


Well, I just realized that blogging helps me figure stuff out way better than playing Zuma. It's like talking out loud, sometimes just hearing the thoughts can clarify a situation, or crystallize an issue.  I have been keeping my issues pretty close to the heart lately, guess it's time to take em out and dust them off, what do ya think?  


So, I'll be back soon, to tell you more about the Art.